Wondering Why

I'm wondering why I'm here wrapped up in this mess
I'm wondering why I keep finding myself in distress
despite the many wondrous things God has done for my life
I keep having to go through strife.
I'm wondering why it doesn't feel so nice
and in my mind I want to be cold as ice
I can't close my heart
I can't be hard
I want to be mean
but I can't
just need to let off some steam
I'm wondering why you keep looking at me with the cocked eye
like I did something to you in a past life
I'm wondering why you keep spitting fire
when I'm sitting here minding my business trying not to perspire
I have tough skin so I'll stay and take the heat
I was born in the kitchen, u trying me...lol
straight heading for defeat.