What If Tomorrow Never Comes

I was thinking about what I was going to do today in the here and now to make my life better.  We think so far ahead sometimes in the future, not knowing for sure what that future's going to be like and if it may ever come. I believe we have to live more in the here and now.  If we take the steps now, the future will be ensured anyhow.  If we think about it too much, it may never come or we may be disappointed when it does come.  What if we die tomorrow, then what?  We'll be gone and our loved ones will be left behind.  Never go to bed mad and never leave a room angry.  You may not wake up or ever have a chance again to go back into that room.  Simple rules of life.  Why can't we adhere?  Why do we let emotions rule us and do things that we later regret.  Why can't things be perfect?  What's up with all this live and learn?  Time is so precious.  We must not waste it on frivolous unneccessities of life, for they will drain us of the very essence of being.  Our purpose in life is to be our best, no matter what that may be for each one of us individually.  Be your best and watch the truth set you free every time.  It works.  It has to.  It's the law of the land, this great and wonderful world created my a mystical force.  Call him or her what you may, but work it out and always remember to seek the truth.  Riches and wealth will follow.  It's been proven, tested and it remains to be true.  No argument can attest the truth.  It is what it is.  Shine from within and diamonds will flourish from the depths of your lands.  You body, the earth.  Your mind, heaven.  You mindset, GOD.  Who else would it be?  Enough pondering for me. 

Love Always,

Kisha Deniece

10/26/10

Things are not going as expected.  Things are going better than expected, but no one would ever know it.  Some things, you just have to keep to yourself.  A wise man once said that it is not wise to tell everything thing you know and then one countered with, if you know something, it is your duty and your obligation to share that information with others.  Not all the time is what I believe.  Sometimes you have to pick and choose.  People get real funny, sometimes violent and belligerent when you tell them the truth.  They try to kill the messenger so to speak and sometimes, it's just not worth it.  You have to find someone who cares, someone who loves you and will give the world to you and that someone has to first come in spiritual form before it can manifest itself  into something physical.  You have to find that special someone on the inside of you and then and only then will your world begin to look brand new.  Remember the glass is half full not empty.  It's a choice.  See the world the way that special someone sees you.  Peace and Blessings. 

Love Always,

Kisha Deniece

10/25/10

Today is one of those days.  Feisty, testy and seeing the down side loud and clear.  No matter how hard I try to stay positive, I can still see the negativity creeping in, reminding me that there is doom and gloom lurking ahead and positive is only a chance in two.  There's also the chance that things may not go as planned because for every positive action there is a negative reaction, just like for every negative action, there is a positive reaction.  One person suggested this was a passive way of looking at things. I beg to differ.  I think it is a very realistic way of looking at things.  We can't always choose what happens to us, but we can choose how we react and what we do in the circumstances we face.  It's important to always react positively and when we fail to hit the mark, then we must learn from those mistakes and next time we're faced with an adverse problem we can handle it in a different way.  That's just the way life is and we must learn to deal on all levels.  We can't just roll over and die.  No matter how you look at life, one can always find something to live for.  Even when negativity tries to creep in, we can choose how far we let it go into our lives.  Be blessed and stay strong.

Love Always,

Kisha Deniece

Accept your Purpose

It's been a long time and I don't want to underestimate the power of what a woman holds.  Some things can be considered crass.  How can I address this without being too crazy about it?  I don't want to offend anyone.  Ish happens right?  It most surely does.  Sometimes I question my purposed on this earth.  Surely, it's more than to procreate, have babies and please a man.  That's not it.  I moved to the south 5 years ago and that seems to be the common consensus among both men and women as to the purpose of women on this earth.  I don't buy it.  Because of that, I stand out like a sore thumb.  Not something I would normally care about.  Nowadays, I'm looking to settle down.  I want to be in a place where I feel comfortable.  I don't think that's too much to ask.  Here is not where I'm from, however, I think it is where I'll end up.  Time for acceptance- of self, of current circumstances.  You can't change what you cannot accept.  One must accept it first to change it.  That, I truly believe.  It's about looking at it realistically for what it is and then seeing what you can do about it.  I truly believe that.  We were all put here for a purpose.  What do you believe?  Something to ponder.  Until next time, peace and blessings.

Love Always,

Kisha Deniece

10/21/10

You ever notice how someone can take what you say and totally construe it's meaning. Then you wonder if other people get it or if this person has totally made you look like a fool. Well, it is what it is. I always say no foolishness and B-A ness. I can't take either one for myself, so I'm moving on from that today and on to something else bigger and better. I'm truly hoping my life gets better soon.  I feel a lot of promises creeping up in my soul and I've been envisioning a better tomorrow. Right now this transition I'm in seems frightening. It is what it is though. It's not like I've never been in this place before, scared of the unknown. Sooner or later, the truth reveals itself. This time I believe it will be something deep and grounded in my purpose. I'm not just going to go into any job to work. This time it's going to have deep and profound meaning. A meaning that was not present in any of my other jobs. I just have to keep pressing towards the mark and keep my spiritual woman in tact. She's thriving these days. I just want for what's on the inside of me, this joy unspeakable, to manifest into something tangible. Not that my life is not already filled with blessings, I just have something more in mind. I know that I'm destined for greatness. "You're never going to be anything. You're never going to amount to anything. You're just going to get pregnant and never go to college and blah blah blah..." I know those words all too well. I did go to college and I did graduate. I feel like I always have something to prove. Even though I know the truth of my being for myself. There's always someone questioning and doubting what's really on the inside. I'm going to let all of that go. Life is too short to let the devil get you down. Peace and blessings and always keep your head up.

Love Always,

Kisha Deniece

10/20/10

Today is my niece's birthday. She is so precious to me. I used to keep everything to myself. Now, I'm opening myself up in this blog and sharing my feelings with the world. I wonder what the hell am I doing and if I should stop, but for some reason, I keep going on and on. There are a lot of people in the world who can benefit from another person sharing their soul. I am moved by the number of teen suicides recently presented in the news. I was suicidal when I was a teenager, mainly because of what was going on in my home, not school. I'm glad that phase has ended in my life. It tried to creep up in my adulthood, but I was able to overcome it by realizing that someone out there thinks positively about me and I about them, even if it's just one person, it's worth living for. You can get so caught up in thinking no one likes me, everyone hates me, blah blah blah and however that may be true about some people, you don't have to worship them and allow them to rule your life. Be strong and keep on living. There's no other way. Peace and blessings.

Love Always,

Kisha Deniece

10/19/10

I have not made it off the block. I have not made it to the promised land. Life is a journey. Just when I think I have one problem solved, another problem arises. If it's not one thing, it's another. Even when you have Jesus leading and guiding you, problems still arise. You're just better at dealing with them. I wish problems would just leave me alone. I'm tired of dealing with problems. I'm tired of dealing with adversity. I just want my life to be smooth, free and void from adversity. I guess that's not realistic. One thing I've learned is that there will always be someone doing better than you and someone else who is worse off, but who are we to say really? Who are we to judge who is better and who is worse? It's just a matter of our personal preference in a lot of cases. Who creates these standards? The bible is a good reference to start. I know reading it has enhanced my life and I plan to continue over and over until the word sinks in and becomes embedded in my soul. A lot of it already has, but I still have a long way to go. My heart is good, but my soul is weak. It wants to move and do what it wants to do, be easy, breezy and free. I let it in most cases and maybe that's my problem - lack of self control. Ahh fewie. I just want to be me, I just want to be free. I can't fit into this mold that others have defined for me based on some preconceived notion that doesn't take into account my history, background or even what I know for that matter. I'm free from what people think of me. The only one that matters is my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. He is the only one who thinks of me and I'm cool with that. Everyone else can have their opinion, but I don't have to worship them or allow them to rule my life. I know that's right. One love people. Be blessed.

Love Always,

Kisha Deniece

10/18/10

Today is a new day, so they say. Yesterday is gone and today is here. Tomorrow may or may not come. So what am I going to do with this time spent on earth? One day, I'm going to close my eyes and go to sleep. My body will perish into the earth and my soul will enter into another realm. I'll be able to see life as it is, but I'll never be able to come back and reclaim it. I don't want to have any regrets and I don't want to end up one of those haunting spirits wishing I could come back. I want to enjoy the afterlife. Sit back relax and be thankful for a job well done. On to the next. No more looking back. No more hoping and wishing. I have to do things right. What if you never get a second chance? What if this is it? My imagination runs wild. All I can say is that I'm human. I've made some mistakes. Some I can never take back. I'm moving forward now. My soul has been restored to its natural state. I want what God has for me. In Jesus name, I pray and meditate unto him. I know not what tomorrow may bring, but I know what I can do today. I know what I can do right now to ensure my future is bright. Whether my efforts mean anything or not, I know what I have to do and in the end all things work together for the good for those who are in Christ.

Love Always,

Kisha Deniece