December 31, 2010

Dear Reader:

Today is last day of 2010.  Tomorrow will be 2011.  As I look back and reflect, there's a lot of stuff I have a sister girl attitude about.  Tired of this, tired of that - about to throw away this and throw away that.  I paused in my steps recently and realized I needed to be humble.  It's important to be humble.  I'm going into 2011 realistically and with no regrets.  I don't want  any more sugar coating.  I don't want any more lies because people think I can't handle the truth or they're not man or woman enough to deal with the consequences of telling it to me.  I can read right through the lies and though I may not voice my knowledge upfront, I'm taking note and I'm making moves.  Please do not mistake my silence for dumbness.  I know what's really good.  I'm just thinking of the right strategic way to find myself up and out into a better situation.  I have to handle things better in 2011.  I find my mouth getting more and more foul recently.  I just want to curse anyone and everything.  It's sad.  I have a two year old.  I pray Jesus cleanse me.  I think really that's exactly what he has been doing.  All of the things that have been bottled up inside are finally coming out and I'm stepping into my season of renewed energy and strength.  I have been praying and meditating fervently and keeping a journal for my emotional thoughts.  It's time to let go and time to release.  Whatever has been bothering me and festering is going to go away.  I'm not scared anymore to fight back.  No one's going to hit me and no one is threatening to take my dignity away.  That person can't hurt me anymore and he can't touch me.  I am a full fledged woman and I dare a man to even look at me sideways.  You had better ask somebody.  I'm not a weak person.  I may be vulnerable in some ways and I may be soft.  All I know is that my past may have slowed me down but it did not stop me from being my best.  I have 48 more years to live on this earth approximately, unless a freak accident occurs.  Let's rock!  2011 is my year.  I'm taking no prisoners and I'm no longer bound.  Let's do this!

One Love,

Kisha Deniece

Dear Reader:

I am up to my head in disgust.  Sometimes, you don't want the truth to be true.  You want someone to argue with you and prove you wrong so that it doesn't hurt so much, but when someone confirms it and throws their hands in the air, like oh well, now you know, no need to put on this front like a fool trying to pretend any more. It kind of feels good because you know the charade is over, but then it's a scary feeling because you just don't know what to do.  I need some one's advice and their insight, the truth about what they see, not some sugar coated candy explanation designed not to make me feel bad.  That's real nice and sweet and all, but it's not good for my growth and prosperity in this world.  I'm going to make it.  This much I know.  My situation is not that bad compared to others and I know that God would never place anything in front of me that I could not handle.  He sent me his only begotten son to get me through life and I'm not going to take that for granted.  I'm appreciative and I'm thankful.  That much I know and that much, I can stand on.  Until next time, be strong.

One love,

Kisha Deniece